Splatterhouse (2010)

Splatterhouse is one of the most successful reboots in recent memory. Unlike games like 2005’s NARC and 2008’s Golden Axe: Beast Rider. Splatterhouse feels like the logical next step in the series. It’s by no means perfect or even “great” but it serves as an example of how you do a reboot without totally alienating past fans of the series.

I really like normal Rick. He's a very handsome young man.

Splatterhouse always boiled down to one thing, “Save Jennifer” and this game is no different. However, Namco did up the ante and add in a fairly standard “Save the World” plot which is a nice motivation but saving Jennifer is always your real goal and the game knows this. Many levels are punctuated by Jennifer’s loud shouts for helps or a snide remark from the Terror Mask. This keeps the game flowing and helps it move at a fairly consistent pace. Very rarely does it feel like a level is dragging on for too long.

The pacing is remarkably solid considering the genre. You don’t spend the entire game in the West Mansion; in fact the game tries to expose you to as many environments as it can. These range from abandoned carnivals to slaughterhouses to a crumbling courtyard; it’s an impressive range of levels that doesn’t skimp on the presentation. They’re very beautiful levels…on the surface.

Splatterhouse fans should immediately
recognize the gaping maw of Captain Mozzarella.

Don’t get me wrong, Splatterhouse is a pretty game. It’s got a wonderful comic book aesthetic that complements the over the top gore and the hammy characters but it’s marred by numerous graphical glitches. And these glitches aren't just your occasional weird model glitch, no they’re far worse and they really hamper the game. For example, enemies tend to disappear when they’re killed which is pretty typical but sometimes they just sit there even though they should be gone. They’re technically dead but their model is still there. It makes combat needlessly confusing. On top of that, objects and enemies will occasionally obscure your objective, hidden items and the prettier set pieces.

Audio glitches are also very prevalent. In fact, they’re even worse than the graphical glitches due to how often they pop up. The most common glitch is for the music to just stop mid-song and never come back until a cut-scene. This must have happened to me at least 5 or 6 times throughout the course of the game. Another, and more annoying, glitch happened to involve a perpetually running chainsaw. Long story short, my chainsaw mysteriously disappeared and the sound of a running chainsaw didn't go away until I went back to the main menu.

This is all really disappointing as the game features a fairly impressive licensed soundtrack with some pretty decent songs on it. Many of the songs are loud, fast-paced and perfectly complement the game’s tone and over-the-top action. There are also several tributes to the old Splatterhouse songs but those are, unfortunately, few and far between.

Splatterhouse is true to its name, if nothing else.

It’s just a shame the sound is so poorly leveled. The sound effects and voice acting constantly overshadow the music which is a real shame. The poor sound leveling combined with the constant audio glitches may give the impression that the soundtrack isn't memorable or even worse, isn't there. But if all the stars align in your favor and the music actually does play, than you’ll find that Splatterhouse has a solid soundtrack worth checking out.

On the bright side, Splatterhouse has both incredible voice acting and satisfying sound effects. The sound Rick makes when he hits an enemy with a 2x4 or when he crushes and enemy’s skull is super satisfying as sick as that sounds. And the voice acting is pretty good too. Josh Keaton provides the voice of Rick Taylor and he gives a believable performance as the good boyfriend caught in a bad situation. Shanelle Workman does a passable job as Jennifer, whose lines mostly consist of shouting for help. As far as scream queens go, she’s one of the better ones. But the real star is the Terror Mask, voiced by the legendary Jim Cummings. He’s vulgar, rude and downright hilarious. His deep voice perfectly suits the totally evil but affable Terror Mask.

This is one of the only SFW pictures
of Jennifer in the game.

The voice actors are given a lot to work with to. Most of the characters have plenty of lines and there’s a surprisingly large amount of characterization for a game that initially appears very shallow. Rick and Jennifer’s relationship is obviously fulfilling the “Nerdy guy gets hot girl” fantasy that Hollywood and the video game industry love to pander to but unlike many of those relationships, theirs actually has some depth.

Rick seems to genuinely care about Jennifer and is aware that he’s made mistakes in the past but he’s determined to fix them. And Rick and the Terror Mask have an interesting relationship as well. The Terror Mask acts like a mentor to Rick and is constantly trying to have him give into his primal urges. Rick doesn't exactly like the Mask but sees him as a necessary evil if he wants to save Jennifer. It’s an interesting dynamic for sure. It won’t win any awards but for a game that could have gotten away with being mindless and over-the-top (ala Bulletstorm), it’s nice to see some actual effort put into the script.

Now, the original series has always had a really cool set-up but a weak follow-through. Granted, it was an arcade beat ‘em up from 1988, what do you expect from it? Its Genesis sequels tried to rectify this by adding in more plot elements. It was a valiant effort but the games never really fully explained the enigmatic Terror Mask or well, the entire first game. But this time around; Namco gave us way more plot and explained nearly every mystery about the first game and even expanded on the Splatterhouse mythos by adding Lovecraftian elements and a backstory for Dr. West and the West Mansion. There’s a lot of story in here and I definitely appreciate the effort. It’s not Pulitzer Prize worthy or anything but for a supposedly “dumb” and “mindless” brawler, it’s a solid story.

Splatterhouse is true to its name, if nothing else.

And man, this game loves its fan-service. I’m not even talking about the nude pictures of Jennifer scattered around the mansion (Yes, the game loves to pander); I’m more referring to the numerous references to the original series. From nods to the first game in the background to small samples of old songs being used in game, there’s a wonderful amount of fan-service that should make even the most slighted fan crack a smile. It even includes near-perfect ports of the original three games. You really can’t top that.

Right off the bat, I should probably say this about the gameplay. It’s certainly not Platinum quality, it’s not God of War quality and it’s no Devil May Cry either. As far as recent 3D beat ‘em ups go, it’s certainly lesser and plagued with issues. But despite its rough edges, it’s incredibly fun once you get the hang of it.

Splatterhouse has an atrocious start. You start off incredibly weak with almost no moves at your disposal and the game refuses to tell you how to do some of your most useful moves. It’s a total mess and it’s a perfect example on how NOT to start a game off. As you gain new moves, more health and become more accustomed to the fighting system though, it becomes a lot more enjoyable. But that’s no excuse for a very sloppy start.

Best shotgun in any video game. Period.

Part of the fun of Splatterhouse comes from how hard Rick hits. The feedback you get from punching something is comparable to the feeling you’d get from wailing on a punching bag filled with candy. Many of the enemies are essentially punching bags with insane amounts of blood instead of candy. The weapons aren't any different either. The 2x4 and shotgun are some of the best weapons in recent memory, especially the shotgun. On the other hand, the chainsaw is buggy and clunky and a total pain to use without getting wrecked by the enemies.

The take home message here is that Splatterhouse’s combat is pretty cool once you learn it. A lot of the game focuses on crowd management and ending brawls as quickly and as violently as possible. It’s not exactly a mindless button masher and if you go in expecting that, you’re in for a nasty surprise. This game isn’t afraid to crank up the difficulty and I’d be lying if I said this game didn't get legitimately hard at times.

This is probably the best Splatterkill.
In fact, it's one of the only Splatterkills.

One of the game’s main gimmicks is the “Splatterkill”. Basically, when an enemy has taken enough damage, it will glow red and if you press the required button you can initiate a short QTE and get a quick kill. This is, in theory, incredibly useful for crowd control but in practice, it’s terribly implemented.

For starters, enemies will glow red and you won’t be able to initiate the Splatterkill for some reason. This leads to you taking damage, getting knocked down and having to start the process over from scratch. And that’s something that happens a lot. Another problem with it is that it brings you to another screen but time doesn’t pause at all, in fact enemies can and will still attack you while you’re mutilating your victim. And yes, there are points in the game where the level crumbles around you and no, using a Splatterkill will not stop time. This makes using one a very dangerous but almost entirely necessary move. It’s a mechanic that could have worked but the lack of thought put into it turn into a total mess.

These 2D sections are the coolest but they aren't perfect.

The game also has these really cool 2D segments that are meant as a throwback to the old games. These are super fun for the most part but they feel a little half-baked. For whatever reason, the physics are the same in the 2D parts as in the 3D parts. This makes the simple act of jumping very annoying and makes running a terrifying gamble. Part of the problem is that nearly everything kills you in one hit since it’s more of an obstacle course than an actual side-scrolling beat ‘em up. I really like these segments because they do add a bit of variety to the game but the issues with the physics make them very hard to “love”. They aren't nearly as good as they have every right to be.

And unfortunately, yes, there is some platforming in the main part of the game. Thankfully, the devs were merciful and decided to only have it pop up every once and a while. Most of the time, it’s just jumping from one place to another using faintly glowing white bricks or similar objects. It’s totally unnecessary and very glitchy. You’ll often totally miss a jump for no reason only to suddenly make it three tries later. The camera also tends to freak out when you’re trying to make a jump.

 And speaking of that camera; that camera is atrocious. It’s constantly jumping from angle to angle which is both incredibly disorienting since you can easily lose track of Rick and the enemies. The camera will also pan out at certain points which means that it won’t be jumping around quite as much but it also means that it’s harder to tell how close your fist is to an enemy.

Go Go Gorilla

Something that made me pleasantly surprised was that the boss fights weren't total trash. Some of them were actually really fun and a lot of them were really cute/interesting references to the original series. But, as seems to be the case with this game, it wasn't entirely rainbows and sunshine. A few of the bosses really drag and offer absolutely no feedback when you hit them. They’re essentially giant concrete walls with health bars. Even killing them is unsatisfying. But I can safely say that the game has more good bosses than bad.

I make a big deal about dying in this review and I make a point of saying that because I like to think I can handle dying a few times in most games. After all, it’s 2013, video game load times aren't nearly as bad as they were back in 1996. Dying will set you back maybe, five to eight seconds? Or at least, that’s what you’d think. Splatterhouse has some of the worst load times in recent memory and on top of that, one of the ugliest loading screens of all time. Loading can take upwards of a 45 seconds, which is totally inexcusable for a game from 2010 (and yes, it was installed on my hard drive). In a massive open-world game, long load times are somewhat passable because the world is vast and full of things to render but Splatterhouse? Splatterhouse is just a beat ‘em up that’s broken up into short segments! There is no excuse for these atrocious load times.

Splatterhouse has a lot of really great elements to it that make it a very enjoyable game. The soundtrack, the artstyle, the plot and the basic combat system are all solid. Most of the problems stem from a rushed development and inexperience with the Havok engine. The game had a lot of work put into it after the year and a half it spent in-house at Namco after they pulled it from BottleRocket Entertainment but a year and a half wasn’t enough. With a few more months, Splatterhouse could have been something really great. But as it stands, it’s just “good”. All that being said; the fact that it is essentially 4-games in one makes the package totally worth the price. You won’t find a better deal on all-things Splatterhouse.

FINAL SCORE: 6.0

PERSONAL SCORE: 6.5

I don't know what to make of this box.
It's better than Splatterhouse 2's box art at any rate.